found in my journal...

After all a daughter doesn’t fear her loving father when the bad times come – she turns to him for help!

Desperate to please in order to be loved –mentality

I understood now why God was at peace with me –even though so often I was not at peace with myself or my circumstances. Nothing I could do could ever change God’s attitude toward me.

This was all part of my desire to produce something more that would somehow give me that place of secure standing with God and people and fulfill my deepest longings as a person and a woman.

Grace always surprises me by the wonder of God’s infinite compassion, but his infinite compassion means little if I do not have an infinite need.

The language of an orphan is complaining, gossiping, boasting, defending, and excuse making –
The language of sons y daughters is giving God the glory – boasting in the work of Christ and sharing this good news with others.

I see myself more as a victim than a sinner –

I saw the gospel primarily related to becoming a Christian –

He power that the gospel has for me now is that I know there is a safe place where I can leave the load of guilt and sin. I can’t lose, because I have One who intercedes in heaven for me.

The orphan will take a difficult, hopeless path; the Daughter will walk the way of grace, freedom, and hope.

God has a story of Grace for me…

Maries Song:Gal 1:5

Allow the spirit to plant (the story) in your heart – and you will hear it…

It is in the hearing that we learn of Love that can cast away/out our fears…

And when we obey that voice of Love we allow God’s grace to live and to act through us. God’s life in us – this is true freedom.

I am an empty page –
Full of blankness and desolation –
My slate wiped - erased by sin –
now empty and undeserving –
like the two broken stones of the covenant –
so I am broken – alone in the dust
and the world it tells me I am unfixable –
and that I should hide my broken-ness
and act like I am whole…
than this man comes..
and cuts his hands on all my sharp edges –
and he fixes me…
and he picks up his blood
and begins to write a future and a hope
for me….
Just and only for me…

Even if I try to write my own future
it will only be a failure
and disaster spelled
in my own waste…

and so I must surrender
to the pain
for that which I will gain
and let the author of
all time enter into my darkness
into my tomb and listen
to the voice calling me fourth
out of the darkness
and though I shall come shroud in death
so shall I be raised and live
and so shall my future
unfold into eternity

He calls me his voice strained in pain
For this author had written a story –
And it had been washed away
In my own sin
Now he straightens the crumpled edges
Of his ruined novel and
Begins to write anew
Hope within his eyes….

I hear you Lord –
Speak for your servant is listening
Teach me and guild me
Restore to me the years
That the locusts have eaten
..Look upon me a sinner
and have mercy
though I do not deserve it…

I call back to the voice
my heart longs to hear
and I rise and come out of the tomb
into His glorious light….



For in this righteousness there is no law, and where there is no law there can be no transgression – no sin.
Seeing then that sin hath here no place there can be no anguish of conscience , no fear, no heaviness. –1John 5:18 – He that is born of God cannot sin…

If there is any fear or grief of conscience it is a token that this righteousness is withdrawn that grace is hidden that Christ is darkened and out of sight…
Although I am a sinner by the law and under condemnation of the law, it is my flesh that is so and not my spiritual being…
Jesus hath abolished the law , sin, death, and hath trodden under his feet all evils, led them captive,and triumphed over them in himself Col 2:15….

Meditate on the Word – and pray - that IN TIME OF TEMPTATION you may be able to instruct, y comfort both your own conscience and others, and to bring them from the law to grace, form active and working righteousness, to passive and received righteousness and to conclude “from Moses to Christ.”

Law ought to have dominion only over the flash – and if it tries to creep into the conscious and there seek to rein - make the true division swiftly, saying: O Law thou wouldest creep into the kingdom of my conscience and there reprove it of sin and take from me the joy of my heart. The joy of which I have in faith through Christ – and you wish to drive me to desperation that I may be without hope, and utterly perish. Keep within thy bounds, and exercise thy power upon the flash: for I am baptized, and by the gospel am called to the partaking of righteousness and everlasting life.”

There is the active righteousness which the flesh must follow – along with the deeds – but they will come to nothing without the watering from above –and this watering will not come unless you have the passive righteousness of the spirit and the faith with brings fruit in the Spiritual realm wherewith the worldly deeds in the worlds realm are then watered with life from your spiritual faith in the heavenly realm…--since in the spiritual realm there is no law there doesn’t have to be any saving deeds or any active righteousness in the spiritual man or realm….it just doesn’t exist…”For Christ is the end of the law..” Rom 10:4 – who being come, Moses ceaseth with his law, circumcision, the sacrifices, the Sabbaths, yea, and all the prophets.

Both the active and passive righteousness’ are necessary but must be kept within there bounds—them both being separated one from the other.. as in two worlds – two realms, the righteousness of the law is earthly and has to do with earthly things – . But as the earth bringeth not forth fruit except it be watered first from above; even so by the righteousness of the law, in doing many things we do nothing, and in fulfilling the law we fulfill it not, except first we are made righteous by the Christian righteousness, which appertaineth nothing to the righteousness of the law, or to the earthly and active righteousness. But this righteousness is heavenly, which we have not of ourselves, but receive it from heaven; we work not for it, but by grace it is wrought in us, and is apprehended by faith; whereby we mount up above all laws and all works. So that, like as we have borne the image of the earthly Adam, so we shall bear the image of the heavenly Adam, which is the new man in a new world, where is no law, no sin, no remorse or sting of conscience, no death, but perfect joy, righteousness, grace, peace, salvation and glory.


Taken from Commentary On Galatians by Martin Luther, published in 1979 by Kregel Publications. Translation by Erasmus Middleton, edited by John Prince Fallowes. A reprint of the 1850 edition Published by the Harrison Trust, London.
Along with my own translation of what he was saying about Galatians….