MY

Gain Stains.
That was His name.
I hated myself.
Hated myself way before and even after He came.
But when He came I stopped bleeding.
And He started.
He started bleeding.
At first I was enamored.
I was enamored by my new white appearance
by the way I always had energy
always felt light and free
- when He was beside me.
And He was.
He didnt insist -
He just was.
He had a gentle way about Him -
a gentle smile
strong thin wrists - hands that spoke of a sword
and power.
Yes at first I was enamored.
Then I became sick.
Sick at my self.
When I laughed at some evil thought -
blood that used to seep from me -
squirted out of him.
His face was patient,
His eyes so sad -
Pain even crossed His face.
Sometimes terror - anguish.
And I couldnt stop.
I couldn't stop myself.
The evil thoughts,
the evil fantasies -
they wound through my head just as fast and furious as before
and he seeped and squirted and cried more and more every day.
I tried - I really tried to stop.
Once He opened His mouth to try to say something
but I screamed "JUST SHUT UP OK!"
This is why I began to hate myself.
No matter what I tried
I couldnt get the evil to leave me.
And I hated him there beside me bleeding
bleeding
bleeding.
I thought "When will He bleed dry?"
So now I run - and this too seems to make Him bleed.
He bleeds so hard and so fast I am screaming.
I just want Him to stop.
I just want to make Him go away.
But today, today I am too tired to go on.
Too tired to run.
I cant even raise my voice to silence Him as He begins to talk
He sits down beside me
His voice isnt even tired
just sad,
and this is what He says:
"Are you done now?"
And I realize I am.
I am.
I am done.
I close my eyes.
"There. Then I've taken it all." He says.
"Its finished."